Mini Cheeseburgers II: The Return!

goodforsnackin'!

Good for snackin’!

Yeppers, the weekend is upon us. I figured I’d kill the last half hour at work poppin’ off all random-like.

Enjoy.

In Defense of T-Pain. Yes, I really am starting off a post by defending T-Pain. Look, we all know he can’t sing, even thru his Vocoder/Autotune/Roger Troutman/Teddy Riley/Cher magic voice changer. Thing is, when he’s doin’ his doings, it just sounds cool! Something about this guy’s robotic “Whoa-oa, Whoa-oas” makes me wanna get my can’t-dance-at-all self on the dance floor and bug out. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve sat in my lil’ cubicle at work listening to the Kanye West remix of “Buy You A Drank” doing the motorcycle dance. Teddy Pain even manages to make that awful Plies song listenable. I mean, Plies sounds like he’s rapping without headphones on, but between the awesome beat and T-Pain’s chorus, I turn the volume up to 11 and get my croon on. (That’s “croon” as in “sing”, not “coon” as in “Soulja Boy”) Also, his lyrics are actually kinda good. Not groundbreaking, but just different enough to make me not firebomb the offices of Hot 97. If he writes his own stuff, he’ll get even more props from me.

Kanye West vs 50 Cent– I’m sure the vast majority of you all know my feelings on this one. Frankly, I don’t really wanna weigh in too much because that’s all my blogging bretheren have been talking about (mostly–no shots fired) since it was announced that both albums were dropping on September 11th. I’ll share my thoughts on it a little bit tho’. I like Kanye West [||]. I like his attitude, his music, his arrogance, his ambition. I like that he’s so insecure that he sets out to create the best music possible just to feel simple validation. Not exhaltation. Validation. I don’t like Kanye West because he’s the anti-50. I don’t mostly dislike 50 Cent because he’s the anti-Kanye. Fact is, I was done with 50 Cent about 3 months after Get Rich or Die Trying dropped because when it came down to it, the man couldn’t rap that well and good hooks and amazing beats don’t really make an artist in my opinion. With ‘Ye, I just happened to hear “Through The Wire” one nite back in late fall of 2003 and the sped-up Chaka Khan hook stuck in my head and refused to leave. Couple that with his personal lyrics, the personal video, and the itty-bitty interview they ran with ‘Ye in late 2003, and I couldn’t wait until The College Dropout hit stores. For me, ‘Ye vs 50 has been about Talent, Heart, and Determination vs Hype, Gimmickry, and Propaganda. Long story short, Kanye West makes music I can feel and music I can believe in, and 50 Cent makes music that I couldn’t care less about. Go get ’em, Kanye. Make them see.

Speaking of Good Hooks & Amazing Beats– I was saying before that T-Pain’s hook on Plies’ “Shawty” or whatever it is makes the song worth listening to. Well, upon further review, there are a few other songs out there that have come out in the last 4 or 5 years that have awesome hooks, great beats, and would be classic if it weren’t for the lousy MC they had rapping over the great beats in between the awesome hooks. Here they are:

1.)”One Call Away”– Ah yes, Chingy’s ode to Rudy Huxtable. I dunno who produced this one (and frankly, I refuse to do research on this one), but the beat is awesome. Great little guitar, good drums that don’t annoy me with handclaps–be they genuine or those lousy 808 claps everyone uses now–and a very nice string part. The guy who sings the hook does a good job [||] as well. Then ol’ Howard starts rapping in his awkward nasal twang. *sigh* I mean, this guy’s speaking voice is perfectly normal. Deep, no real accent or anything..but then his rapping voice sound like B-Real and Steve Urkel had a child and taught him how to not rap that good.

Choice Awful Lyric– (remember, this is a LOVE SONG) “It’s up to you, I’m the man but baby just let me know/Cuz if you got an attitude I could treat you just like a hoe“.

2.) “Shawty”– I happen to really enjoy the chorus to this song, as I mentioned. As a veteran of several instances where girls I carried on with had boyfriends, I could relate to the hook. I woulda beat a few of their BF’s asses too. [||] The beat is good too. Mellow, nice arrangement. Unfortunately, Plies’ non-rappin’ self has to start yelling all sorts of ignorant shit. I mean, the hook is on some sincere ish, but this dude is basically talking about how this girl has a man but couldn’t really screw well, but thanks to Plies’ stupid ass, now she’s amazing in bed cuz he trained her to be just that. The lyrics are crude from a “I’m not a mysoginist the way half the other bloggers out there are, but that doesn’t make me Captain Save-A-Ho” perspective, and they’re also crude from a “I know good lyrics when I hear them, and so far, I’m not hearing a dang thing.” perspective.

Choice Awful Lyric: (once again, this is supposed to be a LOVE SONG) “Aint Called Her In 2 Days, Gotta Let Her Mind Wonder/But When She Miss Me, She Call To Tell Me To Jump On Her”——How Hot 97 plays this shit and then decries the state of black and latina women is beyond me. Also, a note to Mama Plies: You failed miserably, and your son is an asshole.

3.) “Sexy Lady”– I don’t know who or what “Yung Berg” is, but I give him credit for being the least aurally offensive guy on this particular list. He’s okay in a safe, generic “Somebody’s gotta lure in the 16 year old girls” kinda way. I dig the beat, especially the breakdown in the chorus. I like the chorus, it’s got a cool “Return of the Mack” (Mark Morrison, not Prodigy) thing going. It’s like, “Okay, we fooled around, but now I gotta go. See you around.”–without the indifference of Chingy or the fucking idiocy of Mr. Plies. Plus, the remix beat has a few tweaks and flourishes in it that are pretty cool. Still tho’, I wonder what this song would sound like with someone that can really, really rap on it.

Choice Awful Lyric: “and rolled up the blunt yea full of bubble gum /yung berg is here yea we got another one ”

Some More Quick Factoids about Rey The Hussein: The first rap album I ever bought was Naughty By Nature’s self-titled debut album … I’m a diehard Knicks fan, even if James Dolan and Isiah Thomas are assholes … The movie, “Gremlins”, used to scare the shit out of me until the second one came out and made them all silly … I’m allergic to shellfish but I love baked clams (I have a theory that the more lemon juice I put on them, the safer I’ll be) … I don’t drink very often, but when I do I’m a quotable drunk .

The Last Bite– I just wanna thank everyone that’s checked my blog out so far. There are a billion blogs out there about a billion different things, and it’s my goal to keep my blog as different as possible from everybody elses. Sometimes I’m gonna be really corny, sometimes I’m gonna be really angry, and sometimes I’m gonna be ranting about little bits of random things, like the assholes that leave insulting comments on here thinking that A- I’m actually gonna leave them on here (Digga…Digga…DELETED!) and B- That I give 3/8ths of a shit what any insignificant little E-Thugs have to say.

Like I’ve said before, and will most likely say again: It ain’t that serious.

–RTH

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17 Responses to “Mini Cheeseburgers II: The Return!”

  1. green eyes Says:

    nice post rey. there are a helluva lot of really and rap songs that are supposed to be love songs. no wonder shits fucked up.

    on a side note- i do like that plies song, but i think im just trying to support the home team.

  2. reythehussein Says:

    Yep, pretty much. You know what’s a good one tho’? “How do I breathe” by Mario with Cassidy on the remix. Mario must have a relative who’s a high up somewhere, because he gets some really well-written songs. Cassidy brings 2 good verses as well.

    Nothing wrong with supporting the home team. Lawd knows he’ll be back in the stock room of Publix this time next year.

    Thanks for stopping by on a weekend, Greenita!

  3. Belize Says:

    LMAO @ The Gremlin..haaaaa

    Shawty isnt that bad, Plies has never been a lyricist (something he evn claims)…so I guess when I heard his rap on this I thought he was decent (you should here a song called “wet” from him…its good)

    Aside from that…keep it up fam…i thinjk it was time u got a blog..even though u denied my myspace add madafuka!

    *gives evil monkey stare*

  4. reythehussein Says:

    Yeah man, Gremlins scared the shit out of ’til I was like 10. Freddy? Jason? Chucky? Pussies. Stripe? *shivers* Keep that sumbitch away!

    Forgive me, Belize, but I will not listen to a song called “Wet” by Plies.

    lol–In my defense, I was under constant e-attack when you sent that request.

    Thanks for stopping by, Kemosabe!

  5. Belize Says:

    Forgive me, Belize, but I will not listen to a song called “Wet” by Plies.
    ^
    But your gonna buy a CD where the songs are “stronger”and ëverything I am”

  6. reythehussein Says:

    Yep. Kanye > Plies.

    Besides, Diddy’s “Press Play” album has the most suspect song titles of all time: “Making it Hard” and “Partner for Life”.

  7. Belize Says:

    Yep. Kanye > Plies.
    ^
    *gasps*
    Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

    lol

  8. The-XFacta Says:

    Daps Rey!! Good post homie… I like where you said you’re going to keep your blog unique, it bothers me to go to some spots and they all have the same shit or some damn YouTube video… Props homie!!!

  9. benhameen Says:

    funny good shit ima have to link you up. and T pain has serious talent just cuz he cant sing dont mean he cant write. The boy can write his ass off. Anyone who complains about him tell them to write a million dumb hooks that sell mad copies and get mad burn on the radio and the clubs….type impossible

  10. Big Homie Says:

    cosigns Benhameen, but dude cant sing..

    T-Pain cant sing and he admires the size of Ray J smh

  11. T DOT Says:

    This whole post

    =

    Wooooooooooooooooooooo (c) Ric Flair

    Keep it up [||] Rey.

  12. reythehussein Says:

    Humble thanks.

  13. Jamz Says:

    Rey… Don’t call me Mrs. Cleo Warwick or nothing like that, but somehow I knew you were going to use cheeseburgers for one of your posts eventually…LOL! It was sooner than I would have guessed, but props to you playa on this post and ya blizzog…

    As far as blogs go… being original is normally the intent for most people when they start one, but it’s a challenging task to run a blog (successful or not)! Motivation comes from going to other folks blogs to hopefully get a different perspective on the same topics? Hopefully, you can find some new topics as well (if you’re lucky)? Always remember that just because it’s ORIGINAL doesn’t mean that it’s GOOD! There is a distinctive difference between the two…LOL! Keep up the good work…

  14. reythehussein Says:

    @ Jamz– Heh, I had a Mini-Cheeseburgers column before.. It’s just my take on “Stray Shots” (Eskay) or “News You Can’t Use” (Bol)..

    Yep, Original doesn’t always equal good.. I’m just giving my thoughts (just my thoughts!) on whatever comes to mind. I do these things on the fly so doing research or whatever doesn’t really happen, s’why I just stick to being honest and doing my lil’ lists or whatever.

    Just keeping people info-tained without being too sarcastic or too cynical–lord knows we have enough of that.

    Thanks for the comments/critiques–they’re appreciated.

  15. Dr.Fuxie Teacher of Etherology Says:

    Yo Homie I am glad you touched on T-Pain[||] I was just going to post a quick ramble, hope you dont think I swagger jacked. But the whole basis of my point is that dude has talent to make hits, I cant really front when I am in the club and i hear Bartender, Buy you a Drank, Im so Hood, Good life(possibly), Shawty those are all bonafide club bangers that have one thing in common thats T-Pain.

  16. reythehussein Says:

    Hey Fux Fux–Where you been homey?

    Nah, no swacking worries over here, pardner.

    Exactly.. T-Pain makes catchy songs that sound like they have some thought behind them. No shame in that.

  17. Idetrorce Says:

    very interesting, but I don’t agree with you
    Idetrorce

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