Mo’ Movies? No Problem!

canthardlywait

RTH Discusses his Favorite High School Comedies.

I had a blast in High School. I was the King of my own little empire, I had my choice of girls, I was the lead actor in the Drama Club (don’t front–most of ya’ll act everyday on the websites ya’ll frequent), and every day was another exciting adventure.

This month is the tenth anniversary of the beginning of my senior year of High School, and as such, I’ve decided to pay tribute to my favorite High School movies.

I’m sure some of you will agree, some of you will disagree, and some of you will wonder just what the hell one or two of these flicks are about.

Enjoy.

American Pie- This movie came out in 1999, over a year after I graduated. It lead the way in the resurgence of Teen Flicks, and it brought back a staple of American Cinema: The Teenage Sex Comedy. We’ve all seen it, so I’ll hit the highlights: the beer-job, the pie, the webcast, Nadia’s Boobies, Shitbreak, Stifler’s mom and, of course,  “This one time? At Band Camp?…”. What I dug about this movie was, in addition to the hilarity and the eye candy (Tara Reid, Alyson Hannigan, Shannon Elizabeth, Mena Suvari, that sexy voiced brunette chick that said “Tell him Courtney says ‘Hi’.”) was that I could relate to a ton of that awkwardness. Thankfully, I wasn’t the “Jim” character–that would be my friend “Chris Turk” who actually had his dad walk in on him and his GF 69ing once, which lead to the porn’n’condom talk–true story. Nope, I was more like “Kevin”, the guy in the long term relationship driven mad by a lack of boo-tay. While the kids in this movie were a bit too photogenic for High School kids, I still found that the majority of the events in the film were mostly realistic. Classic movie, great sequel, and altho’ they were kinda running out of gas by the time the 3rd one came out, they managed to close out the trilogy in a happy way.

Classic Line- “SUCK ME, BEAUTIFUL!”

Angus– This is one I’m sure the majority of my readers haven’t seen. (well, maybe Icon and Greenie–they seem like movie dorks). Angus is about a fat kid who’s “good at science and fair at football” and gets tormented by James “Dawson” VanDerBeek, The Token Black Guy, and Eric Murphy from “Entourage”. It was made back in 1995, so the soundtrack is full of Greenday soundalikes. Like most teen flicks, it revolved around a crush on a girl. Angus dug Melissa LeFever (aka the blonde girl from “Jurassic Park”) and, due to a cruel prank by Dawson, the two of them end up as King and Queen of some big dance. Angus and his buddy Troy (aka “The Sherminator”) try to “cool” themselves up a bit, but it doesn’t work. I dug this movie cuz the lead was an awkward fat kid–something I can relate to. He gives the prerequisite “Big Speech at the End of the Teen Movie” but it’s a good one that I wish more kids would actually take to heart. Anyway–aside from all the Emo stuff, the movie’s actually really funny and it’s a good time if you like seeing Dawson get punched in the nose.

Classic Lines- (sorry, had to IMDB a few of these)
Angus: But most of them walk through these halls EVERY DAY, never telling anybody what they really think, or feel, or believe, because people like you, NORMAL people like YOU, have them TERRIFIED of being who they REALLY are. If YOU’RE normal, what does that make all of them? So which is it, Rick? Are you normal? Or are you just one of us?
Rick (aka James VanDerBeek): Whatever I am, it’s something you’re never gonna be.
Angus: Thank God

One Crazy Summer- Keeping it obscure and waaayyyy less emo, I present to you John Cusack’s mid-80s classic. This one is full of wacky schemes, funny dream sequences, goofy yet endearing sidekicks, Bobcat Goldthwait in a Godzilla suit, and a pre-stardom Demi Moore and Jeremy Piven. John Cusack’s character, “Hoops McCann”, is a daydreamy cartoonist who spends a summer (what, you were expecting autumn?) on Nantucket with his best friend and a cadre of odd companions. He meets Demi Moore, falls for her, and agrees to help her to save her Grandfather’s boarding home from the Evil Rich Land Developers, The Beckersteds. They all meet up in a big boat race to determine the outcome of the Little Guy vs Evil Rich Guy battle. Again, this is a funny 80s comedy that’s irreverent and clever enough to stand the test of time. Plus: Bobcat Goldthwait. In a Godzilla suit. Trust me, it works.

Classic Lines-
Egg Stork (Bobcat): Ack Ack, let me tell you a little story. A story about a little fat kid who everybody made fun of, and nobody liked and he had a twin brother, and everybody said he never looked like his twin brother, but he wanted to…
Ack Ack Raymond (Booger from Revenge of the Nerds): Egg, where you that little boy?
Egg Stork: No! No! But I used to beat the shit out him! “Why are you so fat? Why are so ugly?” Aaagghh!
Ack Ack Raymond: Great story, thanks.

Can’t Hardly Wait- This is, hands down, my favorite teen movie of alllll time. Definitely the one I can relate to the most. They got the casting right with the right mix of “beautiful” people and “normal” people. They got the archetypes of characters down cold: The overly chatty reminiscing guy, the artsy guy in the band, the Wiggers, the holier-than-thou “anti-popular kids” girl, the stoners, the cocky popular kids, the sci-fi dorks– I swear, they must’ve sent scouts to my High School. Ethan Embry’s character, “Preston” has a crush on Jennifer Love Hewitt’s character, “Amanda”. He sets out to make his move on Amanda because JLH’s boyfriend dumped her the nite before graduation thinking his boys will dump their girlfriends in order to pursue college ‘tang with him. Along the way we’re introduced to Kenny Fisher (aka Seth “Scott Evil, Chris Griffin” Green), William Lichter, an Angel Stripper, and a lovely dance scene between pre-fame Jamie Pressly and Tamala Jones. It’s a shame that this movie gets grouped in with lesser faire just for being the predecessor to the rest of the Teen Movie invasion, which included more clunkers than Pharrell’s In My Mind. To me, that’d be like grouping in “New Edition” with motherfucking “O-Town”. Anyway, this movie is fucking awesome. If you don’t laugh at it, you are sincerely and truly trying way, way too hard to be…pretty much everything this blog is against.

Classic Lines-
Kenny Fisher: Yo, I gotta have sex tonight! I mean peep this – They say here ninety-two percent of the honeys at UCLA are sexually active. Ninety-two percent of the women in Los Angeles at UCLA walking around going, “Class… or sex? What shall I do?” Ninety-two percent, yo! Hey, you know what that means?
Ritchie Koolboy: What?
Kenny Fisher: It means I gots a ninety-two percent chance of embarrassing myself. I roll up on that shorty be like, “What’s up yo?” she be like, “You don’t know 20 different ways to make me call you Big Poppa” cuz I don’t yo.

Not Another Teen Movie- Okay, given the fact that I love these kindsa movies, I was still amped to see a movie parodying them all. Hence, NATM. I thought this movie was hysterical, and after viewing the director’s cut of it during Labor Day weekend, I still think it’s hysterical. It sends up every teen flick imaginable, from “Fast Times at Ridgemont High” & “The Breakfast Club” to recent films such as “Ten Things I Hate About You” and “She’s All That”. It incorporates every cliche, but in a way that’s respectful to the genre. Plus, it’s the last parody movie to come out with an “R” rating, which means it’s got real jokes and clever sequences and not just “Scary/Date/Epic Movie” style MTV send-ups and 8,675,309 shots to the groin. Seriously man, I liked Scary Movies 1 & 2, 3 was clever, but 4 and both Epic and Date Movies seriously made me wanna beat the shit out the “2 out of the 6 writers of Scary Movie 1”. Like, sincerely beat the shit out of them. In front of their parents. *takes deep breath* Alright, where was I? Oh yeah. This is another funny-ass movie, and is stil the reigning “Funniest Movie I’ve Ever Seen”.

Classic Line- “Sure, I’m just the Token Black Guy. I’m just supposed to smile, stay out of the conversation and say things like: ‘Shit!’, ‘Damn!’, and ‘That is wack!’.”

Call Reynolds, cuz it’s a wrap.

I hope you guys enjoyed my rundown. If you haven’t seen one, two, or more of these movies, I strongly suggest you do. They’re all funny–some of them are sweet–so take off the “I’m so cool that everything else sucks!” boots and leave on the Silly Socks, and enjoy the show.

After all…

 …It ain’t that serious.

–RTH

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25 Responses to “Mo’ Movies? No Problem!”

  1. Babydoll Says:

    First again? I watched Not Another Teen Movie the other night and I was dying laughing! Ish is hilarious!!!

  2. Dr.Fuxie Teacher of Etherology Says:

    Damn I think I am going to have to catch American Pie again I havent watched it in a minute. I have never seen Not another Teen Movie. Yo Rey I got a new post up hiphopremix.com/content/view/462/28/

  3. reythehussein Says:

    Yeah.. I’ve been feenin’ for the American Pie trilogy lately. I can’t zone in too much on them because they make me wanna go out and have wacky sexual adventures and I get sad when I can’t actually have hormonal hijinx.

    NO HOMO.

    I’m checking out your hhr blog…NOW!

  4. Mark Twain Fame Says:

    nice list Reymundo… Angus is all the way dope son.

  5. Two-Times Says:

    yo what up rey….. where u at?

    i’m glad to see you enjoy Kayne’s album…. if you enjoy listenin to his shit, then you win… fuck everybody else…

    and you should be right about hopin that kayne outsells 50… that’s your boy…. just like I want 50 to sell more…

  6. reythehussein Says:

    @ Two Times.. lol–When you posted this I was already in the land of slumber.

    Word, ‘Ye’s album was just what I needed at this point in my life–I know that might sound gay but it’s true.. Inspiration, ya know?

    Yeah, I want ‘Ye to do big numbers, but honestly as long as both men sell big I’ll be happy.. Hip-Hop needs the win f’real.

    Thanks for stopping by, homey.

  7. Dr.Fuxie Teacher of Etherology Says:

    ^^ One of my favorite songs this summer has a video

  8. reythehussein Says:

    ^^^Is Stat Quo any good? I’ve only heard him on “Spend some time” off of “Encore”.

    Also: How come you don’t come on nahright anymore? Your job block it?

  9. Vizion Says:

    snap…i remember Angus….god…memories

  10. Phuque Says:

    Kenny Fisher: It means I gots a ninety-two percent chance of embarrassing myself. I roll up on that shorty be like, “What’s up yo?” she be like, “You don’t know 20 different ways to make me call you Big Poppa” cuz I don’t yo.

    ^^^

    *floor*

    Great post, Reymundo…

  11. green eyes Says:

    great post rey…. i dont actually know angus but will have to check for it

  12. cMac Says:

    cmac was here

  13. State of Grace Says:

    Hey Rey, I haven’t seen/don’t remember most of these movies (I’m more about the Breakfast Club) so I can’t really comment (other than to say Shannon Elizabeth = sex), but I wanted to say I’m adding you to my blogroll.

  14. reythehussein Says:

    Thanks Phuque!

    @ Greenie– It’s a good flick.. Teen Comedy Angst is always the best kind.

    @ cMac– lol.. Dork. Thanks!

    @ S of G– I actually hated the breakfast club. I might save that rant for my next “Aaaaannnnd…you’re done” column. Thanks for adding me, homey. I think I already linked you up on my main page.

  15. State of Grace Says:

    Hated the Breakfast Club!? But’s it mad emo! I bet fuckin’ Angus doesn’t open with a David Bowie quote, but I’ll be waiting for that post.

  16. thoreauly77 Says:

    rey- if you liked one crazy summer, check out “better off dead”. its another cusack flick made by the same guy, “savage” steve holland. i personally think its way funnier than one crazy summer. and on top of that, it has hilarious highschool scenes. nice drop.

  17. reythehussein Says:

    @ S of G– I’ll have to watch TBC just to accurately speak of it. I was discussing it with a friend of mine tonite and she was bringing up all kindsa stuff I didn’t remember.

    @ Thor– I’ve seen Better Off Dead, but that was a million years ago. I definitely wanna see it again. I saw “Say Anything” so I’m trying to catch the rest of John Cusack’s teen movie stuff.

    ***Thanks to both for checking out the blog and leaving some feedback!***

  18. EnglandRepresent Says:

    I have actually met and sat next to Shannon Elizabeth aka Nadaia’s boobs last year at the Australian Open Tennis……..yeah I know……I spunked in my pants too……..

    Good review Reymond but I think I’ve only watched 1 of those movies. Can’t Hardly Wait looks mint purely for the Big Poppa reference.

    I’ll hit you up about that Yizzle after the weekend chief

  19. reythehussein Says:

    Whoa.. That’s awesome! She got a little too skinny for me, but she could still hog my blankets any day of the week.

    If you’re 25-28, you’ll like Can’t Hardly Wait. Not sure how life is across the pond in High School, but this one was very, very accurate for me. Definitely check it out.

    Cool breeze, enjoy the ‘Ye.

    –Rey

  20. Big Homie Says:

    Good list of movies. One of my favorites though is Road Trip. That is my shit.

    I boinked her!!!

  21. reythehussein Says:

    Son of a bitch.. Why is my own shit not letting me comment on it???

    (I just said that so it’d go thru)

    Anyhoo.. Yep, I dug Road Trip as well. That’s a college movie tho’. I’d do a post on those but I Kanye’d out of Community College after 3 semesters (spread out over 2 years) so I don’t know much about that experience and how it relates to the college flicks I’ve seen.

    My list would include:

    Animal House
    Van Wilder
    Old School
    Revenge of the Nerds
    Road Trip

    Anyhoo, thanks for the comment El Homito Grande!

  22. Soul Says:

    Whut, no Bueller?

    You crazy for this one Rick Rey!

  23. reythehussein Says:

    Hmm… Bueller was good, but not exactly one I could relate to.

  24. Belize Says:

    These are some off the wall movies..at least have Summer school dammit

    http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0094072/

    Summer school > all the above

    (yup I said it!)

  25. reythehussein Says:

    You are out of your f’n mind. Summer School was good, but better than the above? Pfff!

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