Roll the car windows up. Shut the blinds. It’s Guilty Pleasure Time. [||]
It’s quarter to Seven on Wednesday nite. I’m in good spirits.
The chores are (mostly) done, My unemployment check got deposited today, my exgirlfriend is propositioning me (no chance, she’s married), and life is beautiful. Later on I’m gonna walk F.R.E.D. around the backyard and get a nice hit of that evening fall air that I dig. It’s cold outside, leaves are on the ground, and I’m happy to be alive.
I’m also listening to a cheesy 80s song, which inspired this entry.
We all have our guilty pleasures in life. Some secret bit of behavior that we either keep entirely to ourselves, or only reveal to sympathetic friends who are just as guilty. Some of you might secretly blast Beyonce’s “Irreplaceable” in the whip whilst on the highway, but then switch to something more Thuggable when close to home. Some of you might watch Oprah. Some of you might quaff fruity mixed drinks instead of the Hennessy beverages your thugs in crime might prefer.
You might watch cartoons or still have a stuffed animal that you’ve had since birth and have a great deal of affection for it that you’ll never admit. Whatever it is, it’s a guilty pleasure–a bit of happiness that gives you joy for no other reason than it’s good, or funny, or gets you amped up.
Here are some of Dr. Beardhussein’s Guilty Pleasures:
1- Ketchup. You know how there’s always that one guy in your group of friends that either uses a ton of ketchup or puts ketchup on everything? Yeah, that’s me. Eggs, Pancakes, Pork Chops, Grilled Cheese… You name it and it’s got some ‘chup on it. Matter ‘fact, the only condiment I dig more than Ketchup is A-1 sauce. I’ve seriously made A-1 sandwiches. Yeah, it’s that good. (sorry, I couldn’t resist).
2- The Wonder Years. Kevin. Winnie. Paul. Wayne. The whole f’n gang. The Kevin’n’Winnie courtship/relationship episodes are my absolute favorite, and I totally yell at the TV during sad bits of adolescent fuckery. It’s a heck of an angsty ride, but I am powerless to resist.
3- Jermaine Stewart’s We Don’t Have to… –> This song got me so hyper and “dancing in the computer room to the point where the dog said ‘AAAAYYYOOOO!’ and then left” a second ago that it inspired this whole entry.
4- WWE Monday Night Raw. Yes, it’s fake, but it’s also awesome. You get to talk shit at someone, beat them up using foreign objects and inventive moves, and not get arrested or shot in retaliation. Plus, if your girlfriend ends up falling for a bad guy after you lose a “Girlfriend must spend a weekend with your enemy” match, you’re totally allowed to hit him with a steel chair AND you can perform your finishing move on your former GF right in front of 20,000 people! Believe me, there’s not one reader of this blog that doesn’t wanna give his or her ex the Stone Cold Stunner or the Rock Bottom from time to time.
5- Scrubs. –> Watch this the whole way thru. You won’t be disappointed. Well, unless you’re State of Grace, at which point your perception of cool has been tragically altered as a result of all the paint chips you’ve eaten over the years.
6- Ben & Jerry’s Phish Food Ice Cream. Chocolate Ice Cream + Caramel + Marshmallows + Little Fudge Fish = Crack. Straight from Vermont, those two hippies have concocted something amazing. Don’t even front on this.
7- Karaoke. No, I’m not a drunken japanese businessman (well, not today anyway), but dangit, there’s something about getting up on stage in a smoky bar and belting out the Fugees’ version of “No Woman, No Cry” that I love. Admit it, at this moment, you’re already going, “I remem-bah! When we used to rock…”.
8- Byron “Ashlee” Crawford’s Blogs. Look, I think this guy is an unbelievable asshole poser, but I still check in to see what kind of douchebaggery he’s slopping out onto Los Internetitos from time to time. Plus, his reviews of both Jim Jones’ On My Way To Church and the Dipset’s Diplomatic Immunity 1 album are classically hilarious.
9- 80s Teen Movies. I’m actually gonna to a full post on this later on in the week, but I figured I’d include it.
10- Gym Class Heroes, “Clothes Off”. Mind you, I think I’m better than Travis from GCH, but this song is awesome. His lyrics are okay but he rides the beat pretty well [||]. The thing that makes this song awesome is the fact that the chorus is sung by none other than Fall Out Boy’s lead singer, Patrick Stump.
Call Reynolds, cuz it’s a Wrap.
So yeah, those are just some the things I get a bit geeky over. Just little bits of mirth and mischief that I like to indulge in from time to time.
Feel free to include some of your own bits of secret dorky fun in the Christopher Wallace Memorial Comments Section.
Thanks for checking in,