*Ghostrides the Graboid* [||]

graboid

Nobody does randomness like Dr. Beardhussein, mothertruckers.

It’s 9:32 on the evening of Sunday, December 2nd. It snowed last nite so my little corner of the world is quite aesthetically pleasing.

I haven’t posted in a few days because, to be honest, the inspiration hasn’t been there. I don’t plan on taking any kind of hiatus or anything, but it hasn’t been there. To keep it extra crispy, I’m a bit of a Comment Whore, and my last few posts have been either ignored or just-lurked. I don’t mind being lurked, but let’s face it, people write blogs for other people to read. If nobody’s reading them…

Plus, my ego demands tribute, and it’s nice to know people are entertained/amused/inspired by the Ignorant Shit I post.

Anyway, fear not, loyal readers. I plan on coming with that aggressive content consistently. I’m sure you guys get tired of reading about sports and hip-hop and shadowy government conspiracies, and It Ain’t That Serious is the perfect alternative for that nonsense.

Enjoy this randomness.

1- You know what never ceased to puzzle and amuse me? Rated R Movies that have been edited for TV. More specifically, the either insane or genius ways they go about morphing the cuss-words. These are all real substitutions I have heard, I shitteth thee not:

“Son of a Bitch” = “Slug in a Ditch”
“MotherFucker” = “MotherTrucker”, “Sorry Sucker”, and “MelonFarmer”
“Freeze before I blow your goddamned head off, asshole!” – “Freeze before I blow your gosh darned knees off, egg roll!”

Plus there’s “Airhead” instead of “Asshole”, but for a real treat, try watching “Major League” on basic cable some time. I could write out the descriptions here, but they really truly wouldn’t be doing them justice.

2- Can someone please tell me what the big fucking deal was about “Seinfeld”? Seriously. I’ve seen generous parts of maybe 20 episodes and, aside from the “Soup Nazi” one, I haven’t found any single episode that was more than mildly amusing. Maybe I just don’t get it, but I never thought the show was all landmarky mark. People look at me like I had 4 heads when I say I’ve never really watched it. Oh, and using “Curb Your Enthusiasm” to defend “Seinfeld” in the Christopher Wallace Memorial Comments Section will only result in me questioning your sexuality, Susan.

3- To those that are cool, the image above should have made you go, “Oh shit! Tremors was dope!” Yeah, man. Kevin Bacon, That old dude, and the dad from “Family Ties” combined with some either alien or prehistoric giant worms to create a B-Movie of epic’n’awesome proportions. The worms dug around underground and would leap out to swallow people, pets, and I’m pretty sure a trailer. Eitherway, check it out. It’s what the homey State of Grace would call, “Awesomely Bad”.

4- You know who’s always consistently awesome? Scott Bakula. Not only was he a Star Trek captain on the last “Trek” show that was worth a shit (I’m not a trekkie, and I’ll seriously slap the taste outta anyone who implies that), but he was “Sam Beckett”, Quantum Leaper! Don’t front for one second. “Quantum Leap” was the shit, fucked uppedly sad series finale and all. Oh, and last but not least, he played “Paul Blake”, quarterback for the fictional Texas State University Armadillos in the classic early 90s football comedy, “Necessary Roughness”. I’d buy Scott Bakula a beer, and so should you. (no stewie griffin).

5- So let’s see…Saigon’s album has been pushed back yet again, Ghost and Rae say the new Wu album sucks, and Nas’ Nigger album is scheduled for February. *sigh* Thank God for Lupe Fiasco. Since I’m not at work zoned in with my headphones I’m only sort of half-listening to music lately, which has made me dispatch of Kanye and Jay’s latest releases after relatively few spins. That’s not a commentary on the quality of music, mind you. I just can’t lock in the way I used to be able to. The Computamachine is the gateway to too many distractions, whereas at work I could be doing some busy work without paying attention and hone in on la musica.

6- Hooch is crazy.

7- I’ve been listening to a ton of 90s r’n’b as well as adult contemporary music lately. I guess after bombarding myself (pause) with rap and rock (such as FOB is), I’m favoring more mellow music without leaning towards pretentious lo-fi plodding indy rock nonsense or (mostly annoying) r’n’b of today. I know I’m gonna get shit on for this, but you know who I’m feeling lately? Colbie Caillat. I know, I know. Look, when you keep late ass hours like I do you can’t be bumping loud shit when Pops has work in 4 hours. Colbie’s mellow and honestly, I can relate to some of her non-gender specific music. Besides, I’ve always maintained that I’ll listen to anything–From Rage Against the Machine to Biggie to the Backstreet Boys–if they’re making music that gets me Amped, Emo, or Mellow. Chuuch.

Call Reynolds Cuz it’s a Wrap.

Alright kids, Applebees awaits. Thanks for checking in.

–RTH

Oh yeah, come check out www.alumnah.com! It’s home to new material from the brilliant minds of several NahRight regulars including Phuque, Green Eyes, TyBiggs, and myself. The New World Order of Generation Y bloggers has arrived!

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8 Responses to “*Ghostrides the Graboid* [||]”

  1. T DOT Says:

    #2 = 100% co-sign. Everyone looks at me funny when I point out that I never really liked the show. And weirdly enough, Curb Your Enthusiasm on the other hand I thought was pretty good.

  2. EnglandRepresent Says:

    Quantum Leap!!! I used to fuckin love that show beyond belief. Great times.

    I’m fuckin heavy with the Kings of Leon at the minute, truly an amazing band.

    Seinfeld is average.

    I just had a thought Reymundo. You like comedy, you like spaceships and shit. Have you ever watched Red Dwarf? You need it in your life Rey Rey. I think this link works, not sure though. It is classic.

    http://www.fulldls.com/torrent-tv-72893.html

    Alright big ups chiefio, peace.

  3. reythehussein Says:

    @ T Dot- I know, right?? It’s like they think I’m a martian because I don’t like friggin’ Seinfeld. I don’t have HBO so I’ve never seen “Curb…”.

    @ EngRep- Quantum Leap was awesome, especially the last season or 2.. He leapt into Elvis, Marylin Monroe’s assistant, Lee Harvey Oswald.. All very well done, not just gimmicky trash. They should make a movie about that, even if it’s just on the Sci-Fi channel or something.

    *YouTubes “Kings of Leon”

    Seinfeld just never appealed to me.

    I’ll hunt down some Red Dwarf stuff–Me and Torrents don’t get along.

    Thanks to Both for checking in!

  4. George "Buster" Rhymes Says:

    1/. Yeah that cracks me up. The same when they edit rap music for MTV when half the words in the song are left out…It just sounds pointless…

    2/. “Seinfeld” – never watched it, it’s not a big thing in the uk at all…

    3/. Never been a big fan of the whole “B” movie thing, I like my Special Effects to have a mega budget..lol

    4/. “Quantum Leap” is the truth just ask “ziggy”

    5/. Saigon’s album has been pushed back yet again – Not to fussed about this dude

    Ghost and Rae say the new Wu album sucks – They have a point, the new Ghost album is pretty good though..

    6/. Hooch is crazy. – I’ll cut you © Hooch – That was a great episode of Scrubs last week – The world’s most giantist black doctor….LMAO

    7/. Some UK music for you to check out –The Enemy,Artic Monkey,Jamie T & The Stereophonics are all really good Uk bands..

    Keep the post coming Dr. Beardface – Crawford has fallen off and Nah right is not what it used to be…

    Your blog is the only bit of hilarity in my uneventful work day…

    Peace..

  5. reythehussein Says:

    LOL @ Busta.. The man of 1,004 aliases! The edited rap videos are funny.. I remember when Gin and Juice came out: “Rollin’ down the street smokin’ SMOKIN’.. sippin’ on Gin and Juice”.

    I suppose the special effects in Tremors weren’t that bad. You can’t like, see the zipper or something on the graboid costumes or see wires holding up stuff or anything.

    Fun Fact: Ziggy was a Girl on QL

    The “Hooch is Crazy” gag is awesome. I crack up every time. I think I’m gonna try to use that when I’m out and about in the world.

    Thanks for the props, I’ll keep the aggressive content coming.

    BOY-EEEE!

    –Rey

  6. Babydoll Says:

    LOL! Good post! Co-sing #1 and #2

  7. State of Grace Says:

    1 – This isn’t that random considering I wrote a post on the exact subject a few weeks back, after seeing some interesting editing choices in Casino, but I cosign it all. Personal favourite: Dumb & Dumber, TBS Version. The line: “You can sign my ASS after you kiss it!” Ass was edited out in favour of, you guessed it, SANDWICH. Edited Big Lebowski is so bad it’s not even watchable. “This is what happens Larry, when you find a stranger in the Alps!”

    2 – Seinfeld was something I used to despise until I watched a few seasons, the style of comedy has to grow on you. I was the same way with Curb, I hated it until I saw a certain episode (The Doll) that changed my whole way of thinking.

    3 – Ahh Tremors, you’re 100% accurate in your depiction of my views on it.

    4- If you hadn’t mentioned Necessary Roughness I’d have nothing to say about Bakula, since I don’t do the Trek.

    5 – I thought Saigon retired? I was interested in his album for about 10 minutes but now I don’t care anymore. Nas’ album could result in some great media moments that will likely outshine the actual album content. The new Wu does not suck. RZA definitely seems like more of a stoner on it but I live in Vancouver so that works for me. I’m interested to hear your thoughts on it. Lupe kinda bores me, and I’m still listening to American Gangster.

    6- If by hooch you mean liquor, then yes. Otherwise, I have no idea what you mean.

    7 – I downloaded this awesome live album by Fela Kuti with Ginger Baker (from Cream) the other day and I’ve been playing it steady. Awesome grooves and timeless music I recommend for anyone. Say the word and I’ll upload it and send it your way. Only 4 tracks, but most are over 10 minutes each. I promise you won’t be bored.

    Seems Alumnah is doing exactly what I’m trying to do with my site except limiting it to Nah Right readers. It’s ok, I know I’m years ahead of my time but I didn’t expect the biting to start so soon.

  8. reythehussein Says:

    1- Hmm, I probably read it at your spot. My bad, I’m not trying to bite.

    2- Seinfeld doesn’t appeal to me.

    3- lol, I figured as much. Pops is a big B-Movie fan, I”ve seen quite a few.

    4- Me either, but I watched a few episodes out of loyalt to S dot Bakula

    5- The Just Blaze production alone will get me to cop Saigon. I’ve liked all of Nas’ post-stillmatic material. I’m gonna cop the Wu first day and most likely review it. I haven’t heard anything from it so I’m curious to hear Rza’s new direction. I dig Lupe. I haven’t listened to AG in a while, but it’s still excellent to me.

    6- It’s a Scrubs thing. I threw it in for Busta.

    7- Hmm, I’ll take a listen. Is it mellow? My mellow mood hasn’t expired yet.

    8- Again, not trying to bite. I thought your site was just you?

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