Nobody does randomness like Dr. Beardhussein, mothertruckers.
It’s 9:32 on the evening of Sunday, December 2nd. It snowed last nite so my little corner of the world is quite aesthetically pleasing.
I haven’t posted in a few days because, to be honest, the inspiration hasn’t been there. I don’t plan on taking any kind of hiatus or anything, but it hasn’t been there. To keep it extra crispy, I’m a bit of a Comment Whore, and my last few posts have been either ignored or just-lurked. I don’t mind being lurked, but let’s face it, people write blogs for other people to read. If nobody’s reading them…
Plus, my ego demands tribute, and it’s nice to know people are entertained/amused/inspired by the Ignorant Shit I post.
Anyway, fear not, loyal readers. I plan on coming with that aggressive content consistently. I’m sure you guys get tired of reading about sports and hip-hop and shadowy government conspiracies, and It Ain’t That Serious is the perfect alternative for that nonsense.
Enjoy this randomness.
1- You know what never ceased to puzzle and amuse me? Rated R Movies that have been edited for TV. More specifically, the either insane or genius ways they go about morphing the cuss-words. These are all real substitutions I have heard, I shitteth thee not:
“Son of a Bitch” = “Slug in a Ditch”
“MotherFucker” = “MotherTrucker”, “Sorry Sucker”, and “MelonFarmer”
“Freeze before I blow your goddamned head off, asshole!” – “Freeze before I blow your gosh darned knees off, egg roll!”
Plus there’s “Airhead” instead of “Asshole”, but for a real treat, try watching “Major League” on basic cable some time. I could write out the descriptions here, but they really truly wouldn’t be doing them justice.
2- Can someone please tell me what the big fucking deal was about “Seinfeld”? Seriously. I’ve seen generous parts of maybe 20 episodes and, aside from the “Soup Nazi” one, I haven’t found any single episode that was more than mildly amusing. Maybe I just don’t get it, but I never thought the show was all landmarky mark. People look at me like I had 4 heads when I say I’ve never really watched it. Oh, and using “Curb Your Enthusiasm” to defend “Seinfeld” in the Christopher Wallace Memorial Comments Section will only result in me questioning your sexuality, Susan.
3- To those that are cool, the image above should have made you go, “Oh shit! Tremors was dope!” Yeah, man. Kevin Bacon, That old dude, and the dad from “Family Ties” combined with some either alien or prehistoric giant worms to create a B-Movie of epic’n’awesome proportions. The worms dug around underground and would leap out to swallow people, pets, and I’m pretty sure a trailer. Eitherway, check it out. It’s what the homey State of Grace would call, “Awesomely Bad”.
4- You know who’s always consistently awesome? Scott Bakula. Not only was he a Star Trek captain on the last “Trek” show that was worth a shit (I’m not a trekkie, and I’ll seriously slap the taste outta anyone who implies that), but he was “Sam Beckett”, Quantum Leaper! Don’t front for one second. “Quantum Leap” was the shit, fucked uppedly sad series finale and all. Oh, and last but not least, he played “Paul Blake”, quarterback for the fictional Texas State University Armadillos in the classic early 90s football comedy, “Necessary Roughness”. I’d buy Scott Bakula a beer, and so should you. (no stewie griffin).
5- So let’s see…Saigon’s album has been pushed back yet again, Ghost and Rae say the new Wu album sucks, and Nas’ Nigger album is scheduled for February. *sigh* Thank God for Lupe Fiasco. Since I’m not at work zoned in with my headphones I’m only sort of half-listening to music lately, which has made me dispatch of Kanye and Jay’s latest releases after relatively few spins. That’s not a commentary on the quality of music, mind you. I just can’t lock in the way I used to be able to. The Computamachine is the gateway to too many distractions, whereas at work I could be doing some busy work without paying attention and hone in on la musica.
6- Hooch is crazy.
7- I’ve been listening to a ton of 90s r’n’b as well as adult contemporary music lately. I guess after bombarding myself (pause) with rap and rock (such as FOB is), I’m favoring more mellow music without leaning towards pretentious lo-fi plodding indy rock nonsense or (mostly annoying) r’n’b of today. I know I’m gonna get shit on for this, but you know who I’m feeling lately? Colbie Caillat. I know, I know. Look, when you keep late ass hours like I do you can’t be bumping loud shit when Pops has work in 4 hours. Colbie’s mellow and honestly, I can relate to some of her non-gender specific music. Besides, I’ve always maintained that I’ll listen to anything–From Rage Against the Machine to Biggie to the Backstreet Boys–if they’re making music that gets me Amped, Emo, or Mellow. Chuuch.
Call Reynolds Cuz it’s a Wrap.
Alright kids, Applebees awaits. Thanks for checking in.
Oh yeah, come check out www.alumnah.com! It’s home to new material from the brilliant minds of several NahRight regulars including Phuque, Green Eyes, TyBiggs, and myself. The New World Order of Generation Y bloggers has arrived!