It Ain’t That Serious’ Q&A With The Rising Rap Superstar
I’m sitting in the lobby of a Taco Bell in my area awaiting the rival of rap’s newest wunderkind, Yung Ign’ant. I’ve been there two hours already and to kill the time I have ordered one soft taco per fifteen minutes of waiting.
As I’m about to go up and get soft taco number 9, I hear the unmistakable chorus of Yung Ign’ant’s (real name Clementine Monteego Troy) smash hit, “$pendin’ Dollaz”:
“Don’t worry about litter, got cashmere for my cat
Gotta thousand dollar toothbrush, gold-plated hat
homes for my bitches, got the whole hood to holla
There go Yung Ign’ant, that boy be spendin’ dollaz”
At first I think it’s merely some car in the drive thru. Taking a glance out into the parking lot, I see a Hum-Vee, a Hummer H2, and a Hummer H3–all black with dark tints and gleaming 30″ rims. Yung Ig, as the people call him, steps out fo the Hum-Vee, and then immediately jumps into the H2, and then exits the opposite rear passenger door, only to repeat the same odd activity in the H3. When asked about it, Yung Ig says, “My Grandmama says that if I’ma have all dem cars, I’ma have to ride in all dem cars.”
It’s merely the first of the many…interesting…answers Mr. Troy will give me throughout our time at Taco Bell. Dressed in a pair of black jeans, a black t-shirt with a size/price tag still attached that has more X’s than Jennifer Lopez, a black fitted Yankee hat, and a pair of dark sunglasses, Yung Ig sits down, eager to begin our discussion.
It Ain’t That Serious- So, Yung Ig, how are you doing today?
Yung Ign’ant- “No complaints, baby. Gettin’ paper. Chasin’ bitches. Gettin’ bitches’ paper. Chasin’ paper bitches.”
IATS- Ah, good to hear. First off, let me just congratulate you on the success of “$pendin’ Dollaz”.
YI- “Yeah, well. You know. I feel like rap is just too serious nowadays. Y’na mean? Shit like ‘Crank Dat Superman’ and ‘Ay Bay Bay’ and whatnot. I mean, niggas be tryin’ to make rap all serious’n’shit wit’ all these dance steps. M’fuckas don’t wanna dance. They wanna chase bitches.”
IATS- So…You think that a song like “Crank Dat” is too serious?
YI- “Oh, most definitely. Cuz like, Superman be savin’ lives, nome sane? He be like, flyin’ thru da air and jumpin’ in phone boofs’n’shit. Niggas in the hood ain’t got phone boofs. We got Boost Mobile, nigga. Try and put on a M’Fuckin’ blue suit wit’ a nigga chirpin’ in ya ear’n’shit. Try dat shit. G’on, try it. Try it. Try it.”
IATS- I’m pretty sure Soulja Boy wasn’t talking about literally being Superman, The Last Son of Krypton-
YI- (getting more insistant)- “Try. It.”
At this point, one of Yung Ig’s entourage hands me a boost mobile phone and a blue suit. I reluctantly go into the Men’s Room and try the suit on. I’m unable to, as Yung Ig keeps chirping me saying, “You can’t put it on, right? Right? Right?”. Finally, after 2 minutes of struggling, I come back to Yung Ig, who is gleefully eating a soft taco.
IATS- Well, you were right. That was too difficult.
YI- “See? Fuck Soulja Boy. Pause.”
IATS- Okay then. Moving on. How old were you when you started rapping?
YI- “6 months.”
IATS- You were 6 months old when you started rapping?
YI- “Word. My moms, God rest her soul, said I’d be cryin’, right? But when she’d put on a song, I’d wait for the lyrics to die down and then I’d be all like, ‘Goo-Goo, Ga Ga, Moo-Moo, Ma Ma’ and shit. Matta ‘fact, that was actually the chorus to my first underground record that took off.”
IATS- Ah, yes. That was off the “Thugs, Drugs, and Lugz” mixtape, right?
YI- “Yeah. F’sho.”
IATS- Okay. Who would you say were some of your influences and inspirations growing up.
YI- “Well, you know, I be listenin’ to Biggie, Tupac, Run-DMC, Bobby McFerrin, Debbie Gibson. Oh, and uh, LFO. ‘Summer Girls’ was my shit, yo.”
At this point, an uncomfortable silence takes place. I check my watch. Yung Ig picks his teeth with a Mild Sauce packet.
IATS- So how were you discovered?
YI- “Well, nome sane, I was in a talent show. They had like fo’teen other rap acts, but I had a secret weapon. I wrapped suspended upside down over a kiddie pool filled with live scorpions.”
IATS- You’re…joking, right?
Yung Ig stares straight ahead, stone faced at me.
YI- “Did I say ‘Wocka Wocka’, motherfucker?”
IATS- No. No you didn’t. Okay, so, the talent show.
YI- “Yeah, na mean? This dude from StreetHoodMafia Entertainment said I had talent and signed me up on the spot. I dropped ‘$pendin’ Dollaz’, and the rest is history.”
IATS- Well, let’s talk about the record. There are allegations of massive payola influence regarding that song. What are you-
YI- “What? Fuck you said? Listen here, nigga. I ain’t use crayons. Crayons is for kids.”
IATS- What? No, no. Not “Crayola”, “Payola”. That’s when somebody pays a DJ to play a certain record more than other records.
YI- “Oh! Oh! Mah bad, Mah bad. I thought you was talkin’ shit. Yeah, we pay DJs all the time. Flex, Angie, Ed, Imus, Opie’n’Anthony. All ‘dem niggas.”
IATS- So wait, let me get this straight. You’re admitting on the record, that you use payola to manufacture spins?
YI- “No, I don’t say that on the record. I talk about spendin’ money on the record. I said that pay…paytrolla… I’m talkin’ about that DJ payin’ shit right here, nigga.”
IATS- O…K. Moving on. What’s up with the spelling of your name? Some people say you’re copying off of Yung Joc.
IATS- Yung Joc. He’s an Atlanta rapper affiliated with Bad Boy records.
YI- “Oh! Oh! That Bill Cosby lookin’ nigga wit’ da invisible motorcycle? Sheeit… That’s a compliment right there. That nigga got an invisible motorcycle! That’s ballin’ right there.”
IATS- That’s not an inv… Yes. That’s ballin’ right there. Okay, so, why do you spell “young” without the “O”.
YI- “You know what? I’m glad you asked that. See, niggas think I’m stupid cuz my stage name be ‘Yung Ign’ant’, but I’m smart. See, the letter ‘O’ is racist.”
YI- “You ain’t know that shit, did you? You ain’t know that. Na mean? Nome sane? Nome sane? Na mean? See, the letter ‘O’ is in all the racial slurs that people use to denigrate black people. ‘Negr-O’. ‘Samb-O’. ‘cOlOred’. ‘spOOk’. Man, Fuck the letter ‘O’. You know what the ‘O’ is? It ain’t shit but the m’fuckin’ zero without the little ass line thru it.”
IATS- But, if that’s the case, why keep the “O” in the second word of “$pendin’ Dollaz”?
YI- “Next question.”
IATS- Alright then. What can we except from your debut album, “Stacks, Tracks, and Bitchizz On They Backs”?
YI- “Oh man, I got somethin’ for everybody on that album. I got something for the bitches, something for the niggas in the trap, something for the clubs, something for the white girls that buy my shit… Oh, and I got a song about the time I hit it with Hilary Clinton.”
IATS- Hilary. Clinton.
YI- “Word, it’s dope. It’s called ‘Ramming My Rod in Rodham’. You wanna hear some lyrics to it?”
IATS- Sure. Why not.
YI- “Aight, word.”
At this point, Yung Ign’ant starts rapping:
“Yigga Yo, Hilary C, come get with me
You already let me hit it an my S.U.V.
Got you a Louis bag and I bought you a meal
Now I think it’s time that I copped me a feel
Actin’ so cold when you know I got you hot
Scratchin’ my back like ‘Yung Ig, don’t stop!’
Hilary knows I hit it better than Bubba do
Rammin’ my Rod in Rodham, I think I’m in love with you”
IATS- Wow. That was…rhymey.
YI- “Word. Nome sane? Cuz like, Yo. I gots feelings too. Na mean?”
IATS- Yes. I nome na. Well, is there anything else you’d like your fans to know? Our time is just about up.
YI- “Yeah, I wanna let all the Yung Ign’ant fans out there know that my album is straight propane tanked, chicken’n’ribs, hot sauce Fire. I got e’rybody on the album. Lil’ MuFucka. Shza X. Nympho Ghetto Bitch. Rubba Canarsie. The Substance Abuse Crew–that’s Madd Weed, Midori Sour and E-X. and I got an up and coming–No Homo–duo that ya’ll need to know about. They’re the world’s first Siamese Twin rap duo. They’re joined at the palm of the hand, only one of them has down syndrome. They’re called ‘Practically Hilarious’. Practical is the MC, and Hilarious–he’s the slow one–is the producer. They’re on some other shit, even if all of Practical’s rhymes are about how he can’t get any girls cuz of his brother. Check that shit out, ya’ll.”
IATS- Yung Ign’ant, thank you for your time.
YI- “The pleasure was all mine. Nome sane? Na mean?”