What’s Got Ol’ Dr. Beardhussein’s Stethoscope Scopin’ Lately.
So I’ve decided that I’m just gonna start posting random stuff on here whenever it comes to mind. Sometimes it’ll be good, sometimes it’ll be bad, and sometimes it’ll be fucking random. Either way, I don’t know who reads this anymore, but that’s a good thing–it means I’m not bound by anything but my own imagination.
It’s Go Time.
Things, Places, and People I’ve Been Obsessed With Lately:
1- MSNBC. Yep, I’m all in for Obama, and MSNBC leans juuust left enough for me to not wanna hurl a brick thru my tv. CNN is a bit too cynical, and Fox Noise/Fixed News (c) Olbermann leans so far right that it’s sickening. MSNBC is pretty hopeful for Obama and thinks the way I do, so I dig ’em. I’m not saying they’re perfect, but I like the channel. Hardball with Chris Matthews at 7p, Countdown with Keith Olbermann at 8p, and Rachel Maddow at 9p. Speaking of which…
2- Rachel Maddow. I know, I know. Normally it’s a different Rachel I’m obsessed with, but lately MSNBC’s newest star, Rachel Maddow, has been on my miiiind. According to Wikipedia, Rachel’s a lesbian, but I don’t really care. She’s on the cute side (I don’t even mind her hair, and I usually hate girls with short hair), but it’s her sense of humor and intelligence that I find myself reeeaallly liking. Yep, I’d do her, alright. But! It’d be a respectful, intellectual doing.
3- Cheesecake. I suppose this is a bad thing to say seeing as how it’s not a big secret that I’m, well, fat, but it’s true! Cheesecake is sooooo good. Cheesecake with fruit, Chocolate covered cheesecake, plain cheesecake… Really, it’s hard to have a bad piece of cheesecake. Speaking of cheese…
4- Cheesy 80’s Slasher Flicks. Okay, so me and my friend Meechelle have been getting together for what we’ve dubbed “Terrible Cinema Tuesday” since like January. For a while we’d have our friend DTMJ get us free passes to see whatever other movie opened up the previous Friday (cuz we’d have seen the good one on friday, leaving the “ehh” one for Tuesday. Get it?), but over the summer we included our friend (and my best friend) Turk in on it. Turk’s got a condo about 35 minutes away from all of us, so we take the trip out there and watch horrible movies. Aaaanyway, we stumbled upon the craptacular festival of bad 80s horror flicks. To date, we’ve watched: My Bloody Valentine, April Fool’s Day, Sleepaway Camp, Sleepaway Camp 3: Teenage Wasteland, Carrie, Splatter University, Slumber Party Massacre, and Cheerleader Camp. Now, out of these, most have been entertaining. They’re full of all the cliches that the Scream franchise was based upon, and the 80’s-ness is completely thorough, but they’re still a good time. If you’re gonna see any of them, My Bloody Valentine is good (see if you hate the character I dubbed “Fat Mustache Dave” as much as I did), and the ending to Sleepaway Camp is fucking horrifyingly disturbing. The rest have their moments, and are good for a laugh and a bit of a creepy, unwashed feeling.
5- Sublime Directory’s “The Attic” Section. Yes, I’m talking about porn. Amateur porn at that. Every now and then they have a really hot girl with an amazing rack, and come on, who doesn’t like boobs??
6- The Snooze Button. Alright, I know an extra 7 minutes of sleep isn’t gonna do anything but make me 7 minutes late to work, but it’s still nice to roll over, think “Fuck this” and hit the snooze button. It’s basically a contract to be annoyed again via alarm clock in less than ten minutes, but the bit of extra relaxation and the controlled rebellion of not hopping up when the motherfucking alarm clock is empowering enough to make me get outta bed.
7- Hot Girls at My Job. Let it never be said that Target employers don’t have a good eye for, um, eye candy. I’ve got a couple of cute chicks that work at my job that make the day a bit more bearable–even if I don’t have a chance with any of them. None of them capture my imagination as much as Nice Rack Girl did back in my last job, but they’re still hot. Word.
8- My MP3 Player. First of all, Fuck an iPod. Oh, and Fuck Steve Jobs, too. I’m rocking a 1gig Coby mp3 player and it gets me through my day just loverly. Anyway, it’s light, it’s easy to use, the sound quality is good, and I finally have a place to store the one-off songs I download from www.nahright.com . I still have to put more albums into the dern thing, but I’m good for now. The shuffle feature ensures a bit of variety, and it’s always more fun rocking out to an awesome song when you don’t know it’s coming–even if it’s from an album I’ve heard 8 billion times. Speaking of music on my mp3 player…
9- Coldplay’s remix of “Lost” featuring Jay-Z. Dude. Seriously. I’m ob…sessed with this track. The beat is brilliant, the Coldplay lyrics are thoughtful, and the Jay-Z verse is fucking incredible. It really captures a lot of how I’ve been feeling lately. Here’s the track: , and here is a link to the lyrics: http://www.elyricsworld.com/lost__(remix_ft._jay-z)_lyrics_coldplay.html.
10- Ice Cold Water. Yep, water. I enjoy the soda at mealtimes, beer when hanging out, mixed drinks when I get pizznaid, but for reg’lar ol’ thirst quenching and maintenance, you can’t beat ice cold water. When my brother came home in August he insisted the fridge be stocked with it at all times, and in the 2+ months since he left I’ve kept that up. For a bigger guy that runs hot, It really helps. No, seriously. Water.
Call Reynolds, Cuz it’s a Wrap.
Okay kids, that’s it. Listen, I know I was supposed to do that Summer Movie Wrap-Up, but those posts take way too fucking long to write, and I’m just never gonna get around to it. From what I can remember, Pineapple Express was better than I thought it’d be, Tropic Thunder was fucking BRILLIANT AND HILARIOUS, and…um…everything else escapes me. So, there ya go.
Anyway, that’s it for today. Lemme know what you’re obsessed with this month, quarter, season, or year, and lemme know what you think of my list. Cosign? No-Sign? All comments, questions, critiques, and reasons why April Fool’s Day was terrible can be left below in the Christopher Wallace Memorial Comments Section. OH! Speaking of Christopher Wallace, the Notorious trailer played before SexDrive the other day (by the by, SD is awesome–really, truly it is), and I got Star Wars level excited about it. I love Biggie Smalls, and I can’t wait for the movie–even if we know how it ends. Enjoy the trailer after my signature.
Thanks for tuning in,