Archive for April, 2009

Good Peoples.

April 22, 2009

I’m a sucker for hot pictures of cute celebrity girls. I’m sure this isn’t news to any longtime readers, but it’s true.

The thing is, most of the websites what have those kindsa pictures tend to be uber-snarky, with jealous/ugly/fat MoFos running the sites and being douchebags. So, even tho’ I enjoy admiring hot famous chicks, I get annoyed by the stupid bullshit these site-runners do.

Ah, but there’s an alternative! http://www.popoholic.com/ is an awesome site, and the person who runs it keeps it mostly douchebag-free. Whoever it is usually only has kind things to say about the chicas on it, and to top it off, is the same kinda fanboy nerd I am.

IE, yes, I like action/adventure/sci-fi/fantasy, but I don’t take it that seriously.

Anyway, that was it. Check out http://www.popoholic.com and enjoy the scenery.

–RTH

IATS Review: Asher Roth’s “Asleep In The Bread Aisle”

April 21, 2009

Dr. Beardhussein Examines Mr. Roth’s Major Label Debut

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Isn’t It Amazing…

April 19, 2009

…how the right girl can come along and make everything better?

I mean, not even “come along” in the “Yay, we’re together!” sense. Sometimes she can just come into your life and make you smile.

She can enter your little world and make it brighter, friendlier, happier–full of hope and optimism.

Something as simple as a quick hello, or even a smile can send you soaring.

It’s like just looking into her eyes can break your heart and make you happier than you’ve ever dared to dream.

You get lost in eyes like that, word to Debbie Gibson. You look in those eyes and it’s like any burdens you’ve been carrying just disappear in an instant. Nothing else matters, nothing else even exists.

It’s just you and her, and hope, and the thought that maybe, just maybe, you’ll get more chances to look into those beautiful eyes…

…and maybe hold her hand…

…and maybe kiss her just once.

I’m never gonna be too old, too cynical, or too afraid to daydream–no matter what the haters and the doubters say, no matter what the ghosts of my past that like to taunt me say.

Sweet dreams that make me smile, born out of hope.

–RTH

THE REVOLUTION IS HERE!

April 18, 2009

Dr. Beardhussein Diagnosis Fuckery In Nerd-Land.

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Fantastic Fourth

April 18, 2009

RTH reviews Vin Diesel’s Fast and Furious
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Adam Lambert Should Be Beaten With A Wiffleball Bat

April 15, 2009

Look, I know I “shouldn’t” be watching American Idol because I’m a guy, but (1), the show is entertaining, and (2), they have hot chicks on the show every now and then, and (3) good singing is good singing.

Unfortunately, Adam Lambert is not a good singer.

This fuckin’ douchebag is 27 years old. TWENTY-SEVEN YEARS OLD! He’s a year younger than me, yet insists on rocking the “hip-for-2006” black emo hairdo. His whole entire appearance SCREAMS “Gimmick”. This idiot wasn’t dressing like this when he was a teenager. I can totally picture this shithead in some JNCO’s with an Akira t-shirt on working on his ‘Zine and dissing anyone who listened to Puffy.

Secondly, not only is this affected testicle wart a poseur, but he CAN’T SING! All he does is hit these screechy-ass high notes that make me wanna throttle him.

I’ve gone on the record as saying that if I had a “Jump into the TV” machine, I’d pop in a Star Wars movie and join the rebellion, or I’d pop in a Girls Gone Wild dvd and have the time of my life.

Now, I’d have a new goal.

I’d hop into the tv when that fuckin’ tool is singing, and I’d slap him right in the face and tell him he’s faker than WWE Diva boobs, and then I’d flip off his equally-douchey lookin’ friends.

Choke on your eventual loss to Danny Goky, shitface.

–RTH

An Ending and a New Beginning

April 12, 2009

Soooo, the fuckers at JPMC decided to end my assignment over there. I got a call from my connect at the Temp Agency and he gave me the skinny.

It’s fucking annoying because I was a rock star until they took the guitar outta my hands, almost literally. I dno’t understand how those shitheads can have a problem with the work I did when they kept taking things outta my hands. It’s not like the work I was doing was bad or half-assed, they just decided to start a new system and leave me out of it.

Stupid, stupid bastards.

Now, long time readers know that I keep it extra real, almost uncomfortably real–so if I fucked up, I’d admit it. I didn’t fuck up.

Thus, we have the Garden City Screw Job.

–Rey

Yep.

April 7, 2009

Every now and then it’s important to just bug the F out, and that’s what DDS weekends are about for me.

Lord knows that between work, home, and trying to get right, a release is needed.

Soooo, therefore, I’m looking forward to my Friday and Saturday nite.

Thank you, that is all.

For now.

–RTH

I Can See It Now…

April 5, 2009

So yeah, DROP DEAD SEXY is gonna be at The Nutty Irishman on FRIDAY NITE and it’s gonna be awesome. Great songs, great friends, silly dances, slightly overpriced drinks, and my favorite…

…you know what it is…

…OOGLING WHITE WOMEN AT THE NUTTY!!!

If you know me, you know that I loooove oogling the white women. I do. Seriously. Dude. Seriously. It’s like…It’s like… It’s friggin’ awesome. Gimme a cute white girl with pretty eyes and good hair and it’s like:

“Hey Girl. What’s happenin’? My name is Rey. Some people call me Big Sexy The Giant Killer. Some people call me El Katook. Still others call me Johnny Hobbit, but you can call me…tonite.”

and she’d be all:

“Oooh, Big Sexy The Giant Killer? I likes the sound of that.”

and then she’d totally flip her hair and bat her eyelashes and kiiinda stick out her ample bosom (bosom! wooooooooooo!) and be all like:

“So why do they call you Big Sexy The Giant Killer?”

and I’d do that cool thing where I lower my voice and lean in and I’d go:

“Well, cuz this wrestler in WCW used to call himself that, and I like wrestling, so I just kinda took it. In actuality, I’m not the sexiest dude ever, and I’ve never killed a Giant. Altho’ I have been told I’m quite girthy by more than one lucky lady.”

and she’d smile and be like:

“Oooh, Big Sexy, I love it when a guy uses self-deprecating humor. I also love honesty and oral sex.”

and I’d be like:

“You don’t have any STDs, Kids, or Crazy Ex or Current Boyfriends, do you?”

and she’d be like:

“Nope, in fact, I’m just here with my friend Kristy, and she’s got a thing for that guy you’re hanging out with–Pause.”

and I’d be like:

“You mean the Fat Guy in the mirror that looks just like me?”

and she’d be all like totally like going and saying and shit:

“Um, no. The one with the accent and the Tottenham Hotspur jersey.”

and I’d laugh and be like:

“Ohhh! You mean, EngRep? Yeah, he’s awesome. Your friend should totally talk to him and dance with him and let him feel up on her boo-tay. She doesn’t have any STDs, Kids, or Crazy Ex or Current Boyfriends, does she?”

and she’d be like:

“Nope, I’ll go tell her in a second, but first I gotta get a Coors Light, Quote obscure Star Wars lines, dislike onions, and completely wild out now that the band is playing Journey’s ‘Don’t Stop Believing’.”

and I’d be like:

“Whoa, that’s awesome!”

and then we’d totally make out right there.

Then she’d call her friend Kristy over to get to know EngRep, and then it’d be on like Donkey Kong.

*say it with me*

BEEYOTCH!

–RTH

Uncle The Hussein’s Completely Sober Drunken Rant

April 3, 2009

RTH Rants and Rambles For All 4 of His Loyal Readers

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