Uncle The Hussein’s Completely Sober Drunken Rant

RTH Rants and Rambles For All 4 of His Loyal Readers

It’s Go Time.

Because it’s late and I’m in my “It’s Late and I’m Bored” Funk, we’re just gonna number these thought and blurbs. This post might be short, or it might be long. Either way, if you’re reading this, you’re either loyal or you’re bored, and in either case you have time for me.

1- Kate Winslet is stupid hot. That’s why I chose the picture of her. Out of all the celebrity chicks I’ve dug, Kate Winslet is definitely one I’d wife and just spend the rest of my life staring at and going, “I have no idea how I pulled this one off.” whilst smiling. Sure, my Rachel Bilson obsession was pretty well-documented–and she’s friggin’ adorable–but K-Wins makes me go dumb.

2- The original pic I was gonna use was one of Adventureland and Twilight’s Kristin Stewart. However, when I looked up a picture of her at google image, she’s not really the girl next door cute I usually go for. I think I just fell for her character whilst watching Adventureland tonite and got carried away.

3- Since we’re at it, Adventureland was good. More Fast Times At Ridgemont High than Superbad, it was a semi-serious movie. Not “bring you down” serious, but it wasn’t a balls-to-the-wall comedy like the aforementioned Superbad (same director tho’). Overall, quality flick, with some satisfying laughs. Plus, Ryan “RyRey” Reynolds was in it, and he’s awesome, and a long-standing member (pause!) of the Samuel L. Jackson Rule club. (get your google on for that post–I’m typing this up on MS WordPad and I’m not gonna go hunting for the link).

4- So as some of you may know, I had given up “baking”, MySpace, and Facebook for lent. All 3 lenten vows have been broken. While “baking” is still fun, MySpace and Facebook seem kiiinda pointless. MySpace has been deadsville for the longest, and Facebook–while still busy–doesn’t really do anything for me. Sure, both sites have their good points–MySpace is where I do my emo sad blogging, and Facebook has pictures of the girls I know in various states of hottieness and cleavage-itude–but honestly? I didn’t really miss them.

5- And of course, I feel guilty for breaking my Lent vows, but I tried my best and ultimately couldn’t keep up. S’what makes JC JC and me me. He could do it, I couldn’t. Just more things to work on. Willpower!

6- I might be going to “Bamboozle”, the 2 day concert at Giants Stadium. Should be fun. Fall Out Boy, Taking Back Sunday, Kid CuDi, and Asher Roth are gonna be there, along with a bajillion other acts. I’ve never done a festival thing before, so it’s something new that I can cross off my “I turn 30 in 16 months” list. Concert’s the first weekend of May, and will be tweeted extensively, I’m sure.

7- I have a crush on a girl that goes to the Drop Dead Sexy shows. She’s got the most amazing eyes, and she’s so cute it’s ridiculous, and she’s really sweet. And, because it’s me, I’ve had maybe 3 total conversations with her. She’s completely outta my league, but it’s a nice little daydream. I look in the mirror and I go, “Ya know what? I’m not a bad catch”–and I’m not. However, I look at her, and I just get this “Belle & The Beast” vibe. That’s not me being depressed or emo or bashing m’self (pause?), it’s just true. We’d look like the goofiest lookin’ couple ever. Still, my crazy brain gets points for having regained some of the healthy “Why the fuck not?” that was beaten outta me by the Triangle Of Terror and BWM Melissa. Who knows tho’? Stranger things have happened in this world, and honestly, this is the most stable my life and my circumstances and surroundings since maybe the last half of 2002. Home life is good, Work is slowwlllyyy getting better, and my friends aren’t really doing anything to piss me off. Plus, I’m funny and sweet and smart and a great kisser. Anyway, Just cross your fingers for me, maybe say a prayer for your ol’ pal Dr. Beardhussein. I deserve a good ass woman.

8- WrestleMania (that’s right, I watch wrestling) XXV is on Sunday nite. I, for one, am looking forward to it. I like pro wrestling, and I miss the backyard wrestling days my friends and I enjoyed. It’s funny how many people from the twitter are wrestling fans tho’. People who would normally boast of the most outlandish shit are usually super-quiet about their wrestling fandom. It’s almost like you gotta catch them saying some ish that only a true wrestling fizzan would know. Elliott Wilson, rapper Consequence, Peter Rosenberg–all rasslin’ fans!

9- The thing I hate about being single, and being 16 months away from 30 and not really having a set path or plan in life aside from wanting to live the fuck out of it, is the waiting. I. Hate. All. The. Friggin’. Waiting. I’m not a “finish line” kinda guy–I don’t wanna necessarily race race race rush rush rush hurry hurry hurry to find my “work until I retire” career. I don’t wanna settle for some chick that’s willing to settle for me. I’m a fiery person, a passionate person–a dreamer, a hoper, a believer–and I want to be involved with the people and the things I am passionate about. Being that kinda intense, waiting for those kinds of opportunities–I want them pretty bad–and it feels like it’s taking for-e-ver. (how many hyphens? answer: a lot)

10- I feel like over the last couple of years–definitely since mid-to-late 2007, I’ve been doing a good job of letting stuff I’ve held onto since High School and the first 7 or 8 years after. I’ve been through a shit-ton of fuckery on all fronts–home, work, relationships, friends, family–and it’s really taken this long to be at some sort of Square One, some kind of fresh start. I enjoy this blank slate feeling, but the downside is that I feel like it’s been so long that “What’s Next” is never gonna happen, ya know? Like I’ve forgotten the little joys about stuff. I dunno. Most of that has to do with relationship stuff, but I think it can be applied to my life in general. My point is, I’m ready to make some new memories, and I think I’ve served out whatever Cosmic Sentence my mistakes along the way have earned me.

***

Call Reynolds, Cuz it’s a Wrap.

Okay kids, that’s it for tonite. I’m glad I got to blog some of this stuff out. I prefer to do my thinking outloud, and between friends that are too quick to offer advice without letting me complete my meandering thoughts, and friends that aren’t built for my rants and raves (they can be really scary and intense sometimes), this is the place where I get to do that, regardless of how many people are reading this thing.

Anyhoo, as always, any comments, questions, critiques, or reasons why Kate Winslet is a slammin’ hottie can be left below in the Christopher Wallace-Dr. Donda West Memorial Comments Section.

Thanks for tuning in,

–RTH

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3 Responses to “Uncle The Hussein’s Completely Sober Drunken Rant”

  1. MK Says:

    Can’t comment on everything since I’m off to the library to write the biggest and last paper (except for one make-up paper since I skipped so many classes) of my university career, but if you’ve never seen Kate Winslet on Extras, you’re missing out. She talks dirty and the Nazi jokes brought me to tears. Ricky Gervais is such a genius. I would give anything to be that funny.

  2. pinkey2we Says:

    hello,
    its pinkey2we, and i thought that it would be great if you could check out my random blog http://luhy.wordpress.com. Im really sorry if this is spam, just please check it out and add it to your blogroll!
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  3. reythehussein Says:

    @MK– What’s “Extras”? I do love K-Wins, and yeah, R-Gerv is f’n HI-larious.

    Eddie Izzard cracks me up too.

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